One of the odd things about having been a blogger as long as I have been is that, occasionally, posts that I wrote years ago rise up to bite me long after I’ve forgotten that I even wrote the…
1 Differences between KJV and NIV1.1 Take up the cross (Mark 10:21)1.2 The third day he shall rise again (Mark 9:31, 10:34)1.3 The Son of man cometh (Matthew 25:13)1.4 Good will toward men (Luke 2:14)1.5 The only begotten Son (John 1:18)2 Peter’s commission2.1 Matthew 16:18-193 The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost3.1 Matthew 28:193.2 1 John 5:7-84 Footnoted omissions from NIV4.1 Late…
There are a lot of myths about unvaccinated children floating around out there. Find out what the truth actually is — they’re not scary disease-carriers!
One of the most common retorts in a mommyjacker’s comment arsenal is some form of, “Just wait until you have kids.” In a sense, all of mommyjacking can be explained in those six words, so for a while I found myself more interested in submissions that didn’t include some variation of that classic response. It wasn’t that I was bored of those submissions so much as I wanted to highlight other types of mommyjacking, like deathjacking and shamejacking and milestonejacking. But while I was busy posting those slightly “edgier” examples, I was still collecting a diaper pail’s worth of classic mommyjacking submissions that, when read together, are simply hilarious.
I suppose I just enjoy rounding up analogous submissions and then reading them in succession for kicks. Read independently, the submissions are slightly obnoxious, but together, they create a megamommyjacking entity, like a force field of narcissism. Below, I’ve collected some (not even all!) of these classic hijackings to take things old school, mommyjacking style.
1. Your Good Week < Your Firstborn
Hey, Lindsay, did you get a promotion or a clean bill of health or eat an awesome plate of nachos or something? Just wait til your lil first child is born [self-righteous winky face]. The feeling is out of the world. THE WORLD!
2. USPS Delivery < Baby Delivery
I love Alexandra’s response here. It’s a three-pronged approach:
- I don’t want to have a baby right now and find your comment laughable.
- I’m actually hoping for the opposite of a baby, as I plan to dedicate the next several years of my life to medical school.
- I’m now spelling out what USPS means.
3. Napping Hierarchy
Ohhh, the unladylike things I want to say to Stana but won’t because my mother occasionally reads this blog. I will say this, though: What kind of monster “ranks” napping? “Your nap wasn’t as pleasant as my nap! Your nap was like falling asleep on a dirty hammock made of rusty twine and my nap was like falling asleep on a fluffy cloud over the ocean! Baby Naps Reprazent!“
As long as you’re not napping with a rake, a hornet’s nest or an open bag of tacks, who gives a shit? It’s probably pretty relaxing.
Part of autism acceptance is allowing autistic people to choose what strategies work best for them, no matter how “odd” the strategy may be. When I am stressed out or angry or overwhelmed, I go into my “safe place” which is under a table that’s now turned into a fort and watch shows I love and hug soft things. I also stim to help my brain focus. It is so important to allow autistic people to do whatever it is that helps them be happy, whether it is drawing, flapping, fiddling with string, or scripting. Don’t try and force autistic people to be “normal”. Autism acceptance is where normal is SELF-DEFINED.
Ultimately, everyone should be able to decide what they think their normal should be. It’s a basic human right.
NT people: be yourself!
me: i’m autistic
NT people: oh heaven help you, don’t worry, we’ll find a cure to fix you so you can be neurotypical like us
me: …………. go away.