I don’t think anyone is being served by statements like
“creepiness/boundary crossing/etc is NEVER accidental, it is always
deliberate.” First of all, there really isn’t anything in life that
simple, and second, all these statements do is make it more difficult
for people to process boundary violations from people they trust deeply
and who genuinely seem to improve after being called out. We don’t all
want to go through life cutting off every single person who ever hurts
Also like – that statement can be taken to ridiculous extremes, because some people have very unusual boundaries. Like being triggered by a certain type of perfume or something. You can’t twist things so that every person who does X triggering thing in your presence is deliberately fucking with you.
The sad thing, it can even be taken to the extreme to the point of being a legit point used by abusers. After all, some type of abusers constantly expect you to follow a million of implicit rules or else they’ll get irrationally upset, then blame you because “you should have known I can’t stand X! You did it on purpose to antagonize me didn’t you?”. And then you are trapped in a loop of constant emotional terrorism in which anything you do is Bad and Meant to Hurt Them and everything they do to you is Justified because “you are just so terrible all the time, you did it on purpose to set me off, it’s your own fault”.
YES this. This is exactly why I have no come to dislike the concept of punching up/down. Even when you are clearly the antagonist, it can be all too easy to frame other people as hurting you just by existing, so anything you do to them is “punching up” and therefore noble.
this is totally exactly what occured in my abusive relationship, and i want people to be aware that it happens
My mom and I got into a pretty heated argument about how simply forgetting to do a chore was not intentional.
Yep, someone tried to drag me into an abusive relationship that looked just like this.
@primes-girl You need to read this post.
An abortion is any termination of pregnancy. If you think abortion is murder, then miscarrying is murder. If you think elective abortion is murder than miscarrying is manslaughter.
Great. Now it’s time to do the same in school. Seclusion is solitary confinement in another name, and is known to be one of the most tortuous things to do to a person. And it’s allowed to be imposed on our children in school. Shameful.
TW: Applied Behavior Analysis, seclusion
“It is tragic that the very methods a traumatized Autistic person may use to calm themselves from the trauma they’ve experienced, are often the very things those who are not Autistic pinpoint as ‘behaviors’ or actions that must be stopped. Not only is the person trying as best they can to deal with the initial traumatic event(s), but they are often being punished and told to stop using the only ways they know of that actually help them cope, thus creating further trauma.”
I’m autistic and I was bullied for it throughout my teen years. (I was diagnosed at 15.)
When I was in high school there was a bullying incident where three Latina girls tried to drown me in a toilet. They shoved my face into the bowl and one of them sat down on it so I couldn’t get up. They were laughing, screaming and jeering me while I struggled. I still remember the cold water on my face and my vision getting speckled with black because I was about to lose consciousness. It was only a teacher hearing the noise and walking in to see what was going on that made it stop.
The girls pretended they were helping me because I got sick. (And I legit did because I swallowed toilet water and ew germs everywhere…so up it came the same way it went down.) I was allowed to go home from school and I tried to commit suicide that day because I was done with everything. Obviously it didn’t work and I’m glad it didn’t.
I’m 35 now and I still feel terrified if I’m in a public restroom and there are three Latina people in there with me. It has nothing to do with racism or anything. I never think they’re evil people or hate them. But being alone in a public restroom with three Latina people, especially teenagers, makes it very hard for me to do my business. I may stay in my stall until they leave. I will be perfectly fine seeing them anywhere other than a restroom.
I don’t have this problem if I know the people. (There are some Latina women in my church choir and they are awesome people!) But it’s that mental association of what was done to me that creates flashbacks of not being able to breathe. (I shirk it by taking deep slow breaths and reminding myself that my airway is clear.) I never say anything or show any outward sign that this is going on beyond not leaving a stall immediately when I’m done with my business.
Again, I want to stress that I have absolutely NO issue with Latina/Latino people in general and I do not hold an entire race/ethnicity responsible for what three individuals did to me in high school, but the trauma that happened to me was real and it left lasting effects.
micdotcom: These stunning photos capture just how exhausting micro aggressions can be Paula Akpan and Harriet Evans have launched the “I’m …
After a months-long investigation, a Texas grand jury decided not to indict Planned Parenthood on Monday — providing more confirmation that there’s no solid evidence to support the accusations against the national women’s health organization.
Dear non disabled people,
Stop ignoring murder, discrimination, sub-minimum wages, eugenics, dehumanization, and abuse. Stop talking about ableism only when you hear the words “stupid” or “idiot” or “dumb”.
If that’s the only time you see or call out ableism, you’re not being an ally to disabled people.
hotter-than-potter: draconianpotterhead: kripke-is-my-king: maulsmistress: raphmike: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. I think the fandom has gone off their rocker. …
It’s one thing if a neurodivergent person says they don’t feel the full range of emotions, but it’s completely wrong and damaging to assume a neurodivergent person lacks the full range emotions because they don’t express them in a way you’re used to seeing.